12/13/08

Yummy, Cat for Diner

1 comment:

How to Cook and Eat a CAT said...

How to Cook a Cat for Food:

FIRST YOU CATCH THE CAT -
The preferred method is a small animal trap. Do NOT poison the cat, because you will then ingest the poison and you may die or at minimum get sick.

NEXT KILL YOR CAT -
The best method is to lay something across its neck like a tree limb while sill in the cage and step on it. This will choke the cat to death and not bruise or damage the meat.

PREPARING YOUR CAT FOR CONSUMPTION
 -
Since cat meat isn't commercially available in the United States (and illegal to boot), you'll probably have to prepare cat yourself. If you live in the more enlightened domains of East Asia, and can purchase cat at the local market, you may want to skip this step and proceed to Cooking Your Cat.
First, get a large cutting board and lay out your cat. Lop off the head, the tail, and the feet with a sharp butcher's knife. These parts of the cat contain little usable meat, so toss them aside.

 Next, make a longitudinal incision on the cat's abdomen. Reach your hand (wear gloves!) into the body cavity, and remove all of the internal organs. Discard them especially the liver. It may look tasty, but the liver is frequently too toxic for human consumption.

SKINNING YOUR CAT -

There’s more than one way to skin a cat research sows two acceptable methods. To summarize, use a sharp knife to trim off the skin, and pull it back, snipping away at the muscle tissue.
Some skin their cats differently. Most prefer using a skinning knife. They recommend you grab the loose skin around the head stump, and using a pair of pliers, peel it back off the carcass like a banana, rolling it off the body. The final step before cooking is to wash the meat of stray gristle and hairs. Nobody likes cat hair in their food.

COOKING YOUR CAT -
Now you are ready to cook!
Microwave cooking is not recommended. If you ever tried to microwave a raw hamburger, you'll understand.
For the best taste, use slow cooking the feline.
A slow cooked Beer Roasted Cat is generally preferred.
Other cat recipes you may enjoy are classic Cat Tamales.
Stir Fried Chopped Cat with Spicy Ginger and vegetables.
BBQ Cat with Honey BBQ sauce.

BEER ROASTED CAT -

1 cat cut into roast

1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup

1 can of Beef Stock
1 can water
2 cloves of chopped garlic

Six Pack of Dark Beer

Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours in refrigerator.
Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours in refrigerator.
Drain and place in crock pot with your can of soup.
Add chopped garlic.
Add can of beef stock.
Add can of water.
If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning you'll be ready for supper.


If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 325 degrees for 4 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good.
Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard greens, and hot egg rolls.
When planning a full meal just remember....
Cat is a course best served hot!


A 'Cat' may not be the most glamorous, or tastiest of game meats, but with a little thought and preparation, Baked Cat can make the belly of the beast accept diner with a glow.